Leaves falling like tears

Last week, a friend of mine S passed away rather unexpectedly.  She had been diagnosed with cancer a year ago but appeared to be pulling through despite seemingly insurmountable odds.  Then, last week, she was gone.  Just like that.  Her passing leaves a very large hole in her family and her community. Many of us have been touched by her generosity, thoughtfulness, and kindness more than once and it's hard to think that this person who is/was so dear to so many isn't here. And while I'm so very sad at her passing (as many are), I'm also happy because as one wise person put it, "Her battle is done."

I've been thinking how, no matter how difficult it seems the last few weeks have been for myself, nothing can compare to what S went thru in the last year.   I've had my days of 'what ifs' and 'why mes', but when placing my troubles next to what S must have experienced, mine are the lesser. And I've been reminded of some pretty strong truths.

~Live life to it's fullest and as if every day were the last for you never know when your time will come.

~To count my blessings and celebrate even the smallest moments.

~Putting others first is so much more satisfying than putting myself above all others.

~No matter how bad I think things are for myself, there's probably someone whose feeling the same.

~Believe and I mean truly believe in miracles.

~There's immense power in simple, honest words and prayers.

~Most importantly, never to give up on my faith for even if everything else is gone, my faith will still remain.  

And I've been thinking alot about S this week as it's Autumn and even the trees seem to crying at our loss as their leaves fall earthward like the so many tears that have fallen. Nature is slowing down and life is going dormant in preparation for the long Winter's rest so it's fitting in a way that S went to her peaceful rest at this time of year. But, while things are easing into their restful winter slumbers, there's that one last brilliant splash of color as the leaves change to their Fall coats.  And that's S to a tee-vibrant, colorful, and full of joy. 

Changing Seasons

Life doesn't stand still and since it doesn't, time has to pass. What I'm learning now is that everything has it's season-the year has four seasonal changes that affect growth and weather, my kids are changing sometimes daily, my secret dreams shift as my interests expand, even friendships ebb and flow like the seasons of the year.

This season is more than just leaves changing in the trees, cooler winds blowing, school busses driving down the road  after a long (well, short) hiatus, and harvesting the last of the garden before the first frost.  I'm finding seasons in my children's daily activities.  A had a very real conversation with me this morning.  It was filled with bright observances of her surroundings, logical questions pertaining to her family, and more unconditional love than I could ever imagine.  It was a bittersweet reminder than my daughter's Toddler Season is approaching it's end and, while the next one is just as bright and cheery as this one is, it'll still be a different time.  A different season of her life and a different season in my own.

A friendship that needed dusting off is now fresh and renewed.  It's so amazing to discover that we could pick up really where we left off yet there's evidence that experiences have happened and we are both different people. 

My dreams are a constantly moving, swirling mass of thoughts in my head and the only constant amongst them is that they are my own.  I'm constantly coming up with new ideas, discarding old, and adding to the current ones.  When I realize one dream, even then it usually spurs another.  I just added to my dream box this morning when I came across a new recipe that I'd like to try adapting.

Things have been crazy lately with appointments, errand running, harvest arriving upon us, and just life happenings in general.  Sometimes I wonder how I keep my head on straight and everything just overwhelms me.  But then I stop, take a breath, and concentrate on making order of it all.

So, while it might sometimes seem like life is unraveling and coming apart at the seams, I'm having fun re-winding the yarns and knitting something new as we enter another season of the year.

What better to do on a hot sunny day?

 V and A enjoying their 'swimming pool'

Breathe Deeply

Ahhh...Smell that?  Spring is in the air.

What is Spring to me? It's a time of melting snow, suck-the-boots-off-your-feet-sticky mud, and dirty kids tracking said mud around my spring-cleaned house.  It's a time of dirty-ness.  All that clean white snow is disappearing only to reveal dull brown grass, half rotten leaves, and (due to a home renovation project last fall) a swampy muddy back yard with various piles of construction debris intermingled with the remnants of our wood pile. 

Yet, soon, hopefully anyway, that brown forlorn pasture will provide a lush clover meal for grazing cattle. Bare branches will be clothed in vibrant shades of green.  My soupy back yard will be transformed into a smooth grassy play area with a new sandbox, clothesline, and flower garden. (Okay maybe I'm dreaming a bit here on that last one.)

Mother Nature likes to Spring Clean too.
Just hope she doesn't put it off like I usually do.

The new and improved...Dog House

All I can think of at the moment is that Spring has sprung a leak. One major blessing-my house is on pillars so I don't have to worry about flooded basements or water in the house or, in the case of some in Fargo, the possibility of my house floating away. The only real worry I have right now is that my dog Mindy Lou could have puppies any day now. Since her current bed of choice, a nest of straw insulating our water line under the house, doesn't provide enough protection from wind and water for brand-new puppies, Lanny built her a doghouse. This is the second doghouse in the last year and her third one overall. The first one was a cardboard box with a hole in one side and the bottom cut off. We put old baby blankets on the floor for insulation and voila-instant dog house. It worked until she got too big to fit in the box, but it was spring at that point so we just burnt the box and blankets. The second doghouse was built this past Fall. It is constructed of small square straw bales stacked up on three sides with a piece of plywood for a roof. For extra insulation, we spread straw inside and on the roof. Unfortunately, Mindy spent more time on top her doghouse than in it and it drifted in over the winter. Now, it's too reckety to use and she's due to have her puppies soon. I was all for making her an 'actual' doghouse out of wood, since there's plenty of scrap wood laying around but Lanny didn't want to go into that much effort. His idea is to use an old pickup topper placed on a pallet but he needs to put some straw in it before she can use it. We will see if Doghouse #3 is the way to go or not. I'll keep you posted.

What driveway?

Well, Spring is in the air....*Happy Sigh* The air smells so clean and refreshing, the fields are starting to poke through (meaning Lanny will be getting antsy-pantsy to start farming again), and I have three new calves to take care of. I love this time of year. It's a time of birth and rebirth, a fresh start for everything. It's wonderful! I am even enjoying calf chores, for the moment. There's only three little ones-two bull calves and the daintiest, darlingest, prettiest heifer calf you've ever seen. She is this soft brown color, so itty-bitty compared to the bull calves, and just looks like a "Daisy" to me. (Well, one of the bull calves is either half-blind or just plain stupid. It wanders everywhere but where the bottle is and bumps into everything!) Yessireebob! Spring is a gorgeous time of year. *UPDATE* That bull calf I mentioned above...Well, I found out it wasn't as stupid as I thought. (The blindness is still debatable.) It had a pretty nasty infection and we ended up having to put it down since it couldn't stand up anymore. Poor calf... Now I feel bad for thinking it was stupid...

Except in reference to our driveway, that is.... *Sad Sigh* Yep, it's time for greasy, tire-spinning trips down a mucky, rutted lake-covered dirt trail. (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating there a bit.) It's the time of year when I sigh as I turn onto the driveway, firmly grip the steering wheel and try to find the right balance of speed and stealth to creep through the pond-like puddles without getting stranded in the middle or hung up on a hidden rut. It takes a certain skill to navigate a dirt driveway in springtime and I applaud any of you who do so.